Tact and sensitivity are good characteristics for a surgeon!

So today did not go well.

Nate had an appointment for his pre-op assessment regarding the removal of a ranula from his mouth ( a lump caused by a blocked salivary gland). He has had this lump since birth, some days it's bigger than others. The key problem is that it makes his tongue curl to one side and the feeding clinic drs said it wouldn't be helping his feeding. They pretty much talked me into the surgery as it may improve his feeding, but will initially hinder it as he will have to learn feeding skills again, therefore sooner is better than later for the op. My concerns about the op hinge on the need for a general anaesthetic and the associated risks which increase for Nate with his respiratory issues.

The surgeon began by asking what Nates problems were. So I had to summarise them. He tried to look in nates mouth with little success and then started bombarding me with questions about his head and face. Did I realise his head was unusually shaped? That his face was asymmetrical? Had anyone talking to me about "sorting his head and face out to make it more normal?" I pointed out that I was well aware of his unusual features but away there they required "sorting" . The surgeon replied with much hand waving that he had corrected many of "these prolems" indicating Nate but that our hospital didn't do such procedures and that we would have to go to Leeds or Birmingham. I had to push for why such things were needed and he told me that his face could struggle to grow or he could develop hydrocephalus.
Then the focus returned to our actual reason for being there- the ranula. He asked why I wanted it removed.I said I hadn't but had been encouraged to have it done. Then Nate started really smiling loads and the surgeon managed to see it, oh yes, he said, that needs to come out. So the surgery itself isn't straightforward, a nerve needs to be avoided, it could return, and a gland in his neck might need removing at a later date. He needs a general anaesthetic too. So he will need monitoring after the op, the surgeon made it clear that was someone else's problem. There were a few other insensitive comments made but my head is whirling and I can't remember the rest.

I wasn't particularly happy about the attitude, and condescending nature of the surgeon. Had no idea my sons head and face needed "sorting" and basically left feeling down and a bit angry if I'm honest.