So that's that then

We said goodbye to our old house today. Officially. The mortgage company finally took it. 

I find myself in a somewhat of a muddle of feelings. Anger, sadness, hope, optimism. Enough to warrant a glass of wine or 3 anyway. 

The anger stems from the fact there was no easy way out. Have a disabled child, give up work to care for him and yep financially youre pretty much screwed. Giving up work kept him safer, allowed us to wean him from oxygen dependency, and gave him the opportunity to socialise and develop through groups and therapy. It was the right choice. But it came with a price. We lost the security of owning our own house. If I'm honest I lost a bit of pride too. Then I look at my children and think how wonderful they are and they are all that matter. Not bricks and mortar.

So theres our new house. Local authority housing. And with it many positives. A leak? They fix it. Adaptations needed? No problem. Last week a hoist system was put in nates room and on thursday we have builders in to make a hole for a through floor lift :) things that would have been damn hard to get in the house we owned. 

So although this year has been marred by bankruptcy and repossetion I need to focus on the positives. I just wish it hadn't been so hard.