I'm really sorry. I said I wouldn't get stressed about it. I laugh it off if people ask. My family is all that matters.
But in all seriousness I am incredibly stressed about how we are going to manage.
Disability and sickness can happen to anyone. It isn't a "lifestyle choice" as an mp suggested. Believe me i'd love to have 2 healthy kids, my job, money, a mortgage. I didn't deliberately disable my son to get my sticky fingers on his DLA, I don't exaggerate his complex needs for measly amounts of money.
The financial reality for us is bleak. I have had to stop working ( but to be honest even my pt wage wasn't enough). Yes I have chosen to stop working but I'd like to know where I would manage to do my marking? At nates bedside in hospital? In waiting rooms? I was rarely there with hospital, ot, physio etc appointments. Who could look after Nate as well as me or Michael? My mam can't even lift him anymore and both my mam and mil are wary of his equipment and just how quickly he becomes seriously ill. Michael did a damn good job resusitating nate but thats too much responsibility for someone else. Financial problems were already building due to unpaid maternity leave, hospital stays, bills and food paid for by cards. It all adds up on top on manageable debt we had before.
So we are doing the thing that begins with "b". And it's expensive let me tell you. But it's the only way to start again. When your circumstances change as dramatically as ours have there isn't any help available. You struggle on until you reach breaking point.
We are bidding on houses each week available with the local authority as our house is a- unadaptable and small and b- we can't pay the mortgage anymore. They have told use we have significant high medical priority ( we have had no luck bidding so far) but not to worry we will get extra points when we are actually made homeless. Well that's just fucking brilliant isn't it. I have our portage worker and social worker on the case but portage were told we would end up in a hostel or b and b if homeless until they found somewhere. Portage told housing that was absolutely ridiculous with nates problems.
In addition our mps don't exactly fill me with positivity pushing through welfare reform to effectively screw the sick and disabled. It's nice to know that if my son survives to adulthood he will remain totally dependent on us financially for all his life
Last time I saw my dr for antidepressants he asked if I still felt like a donkey on the edge( I had used that shrek quote the previous time) and I can honestly say this donkey is most definitely on the edge.
If our receivers/ creditors/ judge are reading this *waves* . We didn't run up debt on flash cars, holidays, clothes, shoes, nights out. It happened because you can't predict the future. And you try to manage as best you can for as long as you can.
There but for the grace of god.... sometimes a clean slate can be just what you need to turn the corner.
ReplyDeleteWhen we were on the housing list we were told we had high medical priority but kept getting turned down for houses. It turned out that although we had been told we had it, they hadn't actioned it on the computer and so our bids kept getting turned down too. Unless you have it in writing from the housing company that your priority has been changed you haven't actually been given priority. Its worth checking.
Also, a few years ago my Uncle was on the verge of being declared homeless but spoke to a homelessness charity before being evicted. Mysteriously, when the charity spoke to the council on their behalf things that were previously impossible were suddenly put forward by the council as their preferred option.....
I hope things settle down for tou soon,
Paul (Emily and Christopher's dad)
Hi Rachel
ReplyDeleteWe haven’t met but I was lucky enough to meet Nate with his grandma at the Let’s Start Moving Group (I’m Paul’s wife by the way, Emily & Christopher’s mum). Paul is great at practical things but rubbish at sympathy (am sure he will agree with me). I just wanted to say don’t ever apologise for getting stressed!! I am stressed most of the time and hardly dare think about the future, but I am lucky to have some great friends (and Paul) who are willing to listen to me rant. We have had to resuscitate Christopher before and I agree, it’s too much of a big ask to land that responsibility with someone else. I just wanted to offer my shoulder if you ever need it and to let you know that I am appalled at the way you have been treated. As you say, we didn’t choose for our children to have disabilities, the bottom has already fallen out of our worlds (even though we wouldn’t change our kids for anything) and the last thing we need is to be kicked when we are down. Shame on the authorities!!
I hope you manage to get some peace of mind soon and can step a little further back from the edge.
Best wishes
Claire, x
thank you so much xxx
ReplyDeleteHow proud your Government must be: making sick children homeless :(
ReplyDelete