This week I feel as if I'm waiting for the final straw, the straw that broke the camels back.
We are so busy. Then theres Nates birthday on Sunday, and all the memories that come with it. I feel an emotional wreck, I'm a balloon about to pop, a donkey on the edge, and there's nothing I can do about it, and no one can help.
Little things are getting to me, I'm peed off that for some reason my home phone has been recording messages to our line supplier and not the phone itself- mailbox full of messages, some important! The car park on our street is going to charge which means people will dump their cars outside my house, brilliant.
Big appointments. Took Nate off oxygen yesterday for about 20 mins at 17.30. It didn't go well. His sats sat between 84-87 then became naughtier as he feel asleep. It has been pointed out that mornings are best so we will try on Friday morning. Fingers crossed. He had his kidney ultrasound today and get the results tomorrow.Nate also has 2 v small round lumps above his belly button that can only be seen when screaming. So I'm thinking epigastric hernia ( google is evil at times) :(
Everything would be easier to deal with/ fit in without work. In addition to the above we have physio OT and SALT appointments. I have counselling, thea has gymnastics, I have places to ring, Nate has developmental groups to attend. And everything has to be fitted into the days I don't work. I'm worn out. Emotionally and physically drained. I've had a headache for 2 days that will not shift and I keep doing ridiculous things like making Nates bottles up wrong. We have no money, the house isn't getting much interest...
I COULD SCREAM!
So some good news please. That would be grand. Otherwise tomorrow
could be the final straw...
Tell someone. There's only so much any one person can do. Ask for help from whoever: family, friends, the health service, the district nurse whatever. I was in a similar situation when Smiley was small (though I didn't go back to work for 18 months) and when I did ask for help, it was there for me - a wonderful Irish charity called Jack and Jill xx
ReplyDeleteHi. This is my first time visiting your blog (found it through the SWAN UK blog) but I can sympathise with how you feel. Maybe you should scream, if it helps relieve some tension. And I agree with the above comment - talk to somebody. I kept things bottled up for too long and it almost went terribly wrong for us.
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