Supermarket sales of wine must go through the roof during school holidays.
And what about parents with disabled children? How does a week without school impact this group of already exhausted and stressed out people? The simple answer is, well, as you might expect really, a HUGE amount, the main issues being:
1- Childcare
2- What to do and where to go
Issue 1- Childcare
There is an assumption that this ( my) group of parents don't work. Whether it's calling to chase things up, ordering prescriptions between certain hours, health professionals arranging visits and appointments, deliveries of feeding equipment and pads, or those large pieces of equipment your child really really needs however when you attempt to barter a time, or even an AM/PM slot with them end up made to feel like you've asked them to walk through fire. We are expected to be available, and not whinge about it. But that's another blog post entirely.
The "system" isn't set up for us to work, let alone care for our children during school holidays. There are huge gaps in childcare provision for a start. I've seen friends try to get back to work, or continue in their pre disabled child work and have to give up or take a break from it. Those who have succeeded tend to rely on family, friends or part time and flexible working. Not to go on and on about it but the benefits of working are huge to my group of parents and their families, even without the financial necessity for many.
Issue 2- Where to go and what to do
There is a huge campaign currently around having accessible toilets. This is something I keep in my mind when planing longer days out or trips away. Finding somewhere suitable to change Nate can be tricky. Floors are disgusting and then there's the problem of actually lifting him. I don't expect everywhere to have suitable changing facilities or for everyone to understand initially the need for them, but if you are a shopping center/ "mall"/ theme park/equivalent large business or new build it would be nice if you would make an effort. It's just good business sense. If there's a choice between two places I'll stick my neck out and say "we" ( the royal "we") would head to the one where we can change our children or family members. My biggest shock in this respect was when visiting Disney World and coping with their lack of facilities.
I have been pleasantly surprised at the smaller venues who really make an effort with changing facilities such as Alnwick Castle and Gardens, Seven Stories and the Discovery Museum. With changing places toilets available in Newcastle's Intu Eldon Square and City Library any activity in the city centre becomes easier and less stressy. Equally shopping or taking part in activities based in the Metrocentre or Galleries in Washington become options. Frequent options. I stick to what works. I can't even begin to describe how difficult changing a non mobile mixed tone 6yo can be. If I'm being totally honest I would actually choose to stay home than have to battle with this by myself. Having Michael around helps considerably, but usually during the holidays it's just me.
The next thing to consider is how accomodating places are.
Are they disability friendly?
To be honest I settle for disability aware or just plain " not being a dick", but what I don't want to do is focus on the negative experiences we have had.
This week we have taken Nate bowling at the AMF in Washington, and to a relaxed screening of Moana at the Tyneside Cinema. Both of which were made hassle free by great staff and accessible buildings. This was the first time we had braved the cinema with Nate. *milestone klaxon* We couldn't take him to a standard show as he might suddenly transform into "captain whingey pants", "mc screamy" or simply shout away happily much to everyone's annoyance. Relaxed shows in general are great. Of notable mention is the Sunderland Empire Theatre who put on a variety of shows and we are currently eying up the relaxed orchestra performance on Mother's Day ( much to Michael's dismay). Many venues taking accessible shows and events seriously have named staff who's roles are to arrange relaxed/ accessible events and gather feedback. A friendly face goes a long way
in a society where ignorance and selfishness can spoil simply leaving the house. It means a great deal to do "normal" things.
I feel that it's important to highlight the places who do a good job providing for people who have disabilities and their families as much of what we see on social media and in the press are stories of nightmare visits and ignorance.
I don't like being a moany fucker. Honest!
One store we are always made to feel welcome is Lush. I do sometimes wonder if there's a photo of our family begind the counter with the tag line " engage with this lot- they spend shit loads in here", but truthfully it's probably more a reflection of their diverse staff, disability awareness, or simply good recruitment practices that mean within minutes of entry Nate is either having a sniff of something fruity or his hands in some fizz ( with our permission of course) and no awkwardness at all. We shall be invading a curtain Lush store this Friday ( as long as it's not too busy) as rumour has it they will be making some of their lovely soap bars. It's always good to be able to wheel around a store with ease, unlike our experiences in a certain sports store I'll not name where the only comparison I can think of is to some sort of fucked up obstacle course where the wheelchair user ends up looking as if they are attempting to shop lift once ( if) you make it to the other side of the store.
So this week Thea is hugely chuffed that we've finally visited the cinema, all of us. TOGETHER. It's another small slice of normality pie for our family made possible by sense, awareness, and a bit of luck ( Nate's health).
But that's not to say I won't be hitting the wine tonight with you all.
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