So we are currently sat watching the apprentice. This program makes me feel so far removed from the lifestyle of these people that I may as well be on another planet. I've never been particularly motivated by money, more about "making a difference", naive yes, but that was the plan back in the day, and that was even before having Nate. Perhaps that's why I went into teaching. There's certainly not much societal value or money in it.
Nate changed things for me/us. I went from being KS3 science coordinator and assistant head of year to being parent/ carer/ nurse/ therapist. I'm not going to lie. It was a bit of of a contrast. I had tried to go back to work on a much reduced contract, however, because of Nate's frequent hospital stays and his very short life expectancy I resigned. This led to several life changing events;
- debt
- loss of our house
- loss of earnings
- me feeling pretty shite due to a sudden lack of identity
Who was I? That's not meant to be a pretentious sounding question. I genuinely mean I floundered trying to find out who I was. I felt like I constantly had to explain why I didn't work. To justify my existence and role in this society that refuses to acknowledge the position and responsibility of carers. I struggled. I had no self worth. The money issue paled in comparison to the fact all I did was look after the kids and house. It's not what I expected from life. I was brought up by hard working working class parents and gained an "assisted place" to a top notch private girls school. I'm a bit of a contradiction, but have no regrets and nothing but admiration for the amazing women I had the pleasure to study alongside. Many have battled their own demons and struggles and fought to be where they are today. Many have contacted me to help with info, research, and support with Nate. Others are just forthright with a friendly face, cuppa tea or bottle of prosecco. There are flaws with the private school system but what I can say is we were encouraged and pushed to succeed. It was always made abundantly clear that we could do anything we wanted to. Gender was inconsequential. A world away from what we see frequently in advertising and marketing of toys clothes and games. I would love for my daughter to attend my old school for the positive attitude towards success and achievement for women which is still lacking in many state schools today, and made murky by the media and advertising.
But what would I do if I actually had money? Sometimes I fantasize or day dream about how I could make things a little bit easier for us as a family. I'll be honest I'd pay for an overnight carer every bloody night of the week. Oh how I love sleep. It's amazing. I'd pay privately for a Physio and OT and fund every bit of equipment we needed without any need for referrals, waiting lists or arguememt about what Nate needs. I'd buy a flat/ bungalow or extend our bungalow and fund carers to support us to care for Nate when/ if he gets older. I'd fund wrap around childcare ( impossible for most SN parents) for Nate, and continue doing what I want to do, what I do for me, just me and no one else
Work
Nate changed things for me/us. I went from being KS3 science coordinator and assistant head of year to being parent/ carer/ nurse/ therapist. I'm not going to lie. It was a bit of of a contrast. I had tried to go back to work on a much reduced contract, however, because of Nate's frequent hospital stays and his very short life expectancy I resigned. This led to several life changing events;
- debt
- loss of our house
- loss of earnings
- me feeling pretty shite due to a sudden lack of identity
Who was I? That's not meant to be a pretentious sounding question. I genuinely mean I floundered trying to find out who I was. I felt like I constantly had to explain why I didn't work. To justify my existence and role in this society that refuses to acknowledge the position and responsibility of carers. I struggled. I had no self worth. The money issue paled in comparison to the fact all I did was look after the kids and house. It's not what I expected from life. I was brought up by hard working working class parents and gained an "assisted place" to a top notch private girls school. I'm a bit of a contradiction, but have no regrets and nothing but admiration for the amazing women I had the pleasure to study alongside. Many have battled their own demons and struggles and fought to be where they are today. Many have contacted me to help with info, research, and support with Nate. Others are just forthright with a friendly face, cuppa tea or bottle of prosecco. There are flaws with the private school system but what I can say is we were encouraged and pushed to succeed. It was always made abundantly clear that we could do anything we wanted to. Gender was inconsequential. A world away from what we see frequently in advertising and marketing of toys clothes and games. I would love for my daughter to attend my old school for the positive attitude towards success and achievement for women which is still lacking in many state schools today, and made murky by the media and advertising.
But what would I do if I actually had money? Sometimes I fantasize or day dream about how I could make things a little bit easier for us as a family. I'll be honest I'd pay for an overnight carer every bloody night of the week. Oh how I love sleep. It's amazing. I'd pay privately for a Physio and OT and fund every bit of equipment we needed without any need for referrals, waiting lists or arguememt about what Nate needs. I'd buy a flat/ bungalow or extend our bungalow and fund carers to support us to care for Nate when/ if he gets older. I'd fund wrap around childcare ( impossible for most SN parents) for Nate, and continue doing what I want to do, what I do for me, just me and no one else
Work
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